Locked Inside of Me….So Deep

So many things going on lately.  It’s been pretty crazy.

The roommate moved out and got her own place with a friend of hers.  So that means I’m all alone in my apartment.  Which is, I’m not going to lie, pretty nice.  But the financial aspect of it is still making me nervous.  I probably shouldn’t be, though, because I’ve been shouldering most of the bills for the past two months anyway.  And I’ve always managed to cover all the bills when other things got in the way.  So I should be able to do it now, too.  Right?

So on the housing front, I’ve been cleaning like a mad person for the last month.  Serious OCD type cleaning.  It’s a stress thing – when I get stressed out, I get the rest of my life in order.  So I’ve been making major headway into scrubbing the walls, the cupboards, and the floors.  It’s about fifty percent to where I want it, so once I get that all done I think a lot of THAT stress will be off my plate.

In the work stuff, one of the managers was on vacation last week, so not only did I work a full 40 hours, but I was also THERE for an additional….20 or so?  I was pretty much there every day, but because we don’t do overtime, I was basically hanging out for free and helping make sure everything went smoothly.  The plus side is that with the new GM, I get to do a lot more, but since I don’t want to go into actual management (they’d move me to another store in the company, and i KNOW about all those stores, so that’s not going to happen), I’m still not making super insane comfortable money.

I’ve been forcing myself to drink more water on a daily basis, and cut out a lot of the sugared drinks I’m used to.  So of course, this week I’ve been hit with a major crash and been totally listless.  Enter energy drinks, which completely defeats the purpose of drinking the water.  Maybe once I start catching up on sleep I’ll be in a better place.

Nothing to report on the writing front.  I think I’m scrapping the stuff I’ve got for SOULED so far, and starting fresh.  Maybe it’s the place I start the story from that’s the problem.  Start off with some sort of catalyst or action that pushes the events of the story forward.  The more I think I’ve figured out the story, the further behind it I really get.  Maybe it’s not done percolating in my mind, huh?

Which is terrible, though, because I’ve totally fallen apart on the writing front this year.  I finished WITCH EYES in January, and focused the next few months on querying.  So now that I’m not doing ANYTHING, I’m really not doing anything.  I need to make some major headway on something so I can at least feel a little productive.

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2 thoughts on “Locked Inside of Me….So Deep

  1. Dude. OCD Cleaning? Loan me that. I need something to get me organizing this tiny place.

    At a writing track at Westercon one year, I heard the same advice from three different people in different panels: Take your story, scan forward to the point where you find something really interesting happening, and start there. In some cases this means throw away the first chapter. It’s like singing the consonants even though you don’t aspirate them: it gives the sense of completeness to the music.
    Knowing that other stuff is there can support a starting point where you don’t show the real starting point.

    • Heh. Trust me, I wish I could lend it out. Especially since it seems to come with ADHD. I can’t just clean one room at a time. I have to do the dishes, then scrub one wall in the bathroom. Then move the couch and vacuum. Then clean the windows in the spare room. It’s bad.

      Yeah, the problem is just that I feel like I’m missing something with the story. Every time I think I’ve “got it” then I realize I’m missing something else. Thanks for the advice though, I’m gonna try that this week and see if it helps! 🙂

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