“It’s my pleasure to assist you.”

For a minute there, I was tempted to write in a scene about Braden using his spooky powers to put the fear of God into cable service technicians.

Three days later (and four different reasons, all of which were not correct) I can haz internet.

Monday, I come home on my break between shifts, and everything’s hunky dory.  I come back four hours later, and both internet and cable are out.  I call Time Warner.  They are happy to assist me.  Repeatedly.  

Guy 1:  Very helpful, however I accidentally hang up while trying to unplug the cable from the wall.  I call back.

Guy 2:  Very unhelpful.  Clearly, my internet is out because the cable box is broken and must be replaced.  Despite the fact that no wires connect the cable box TO the router.  "It should resolve itself in a few hours."

Girl 3:  Very nice.  Helpful.  Doesn’t know why Guy 2 would say the cable box is the problem.  Offers to schedule a service appointment.  I agree.  I leave work early Tuesday for said appointment.

Girl 4:  (After service visit for Tuesday does not show up)  Also nice.  Mentions there’s an outage reported, and TW cancelled the appointment automatically.  Note they did not call to let me know this.  So I missed making money for nothing.  She assures me that their technicians are working on the problem, and I should have internet that night.

Girl 5:  Not so nice.  I call the next morning when service is still not restored.  Tells me there’s no outage in my area (because yes, I’m lying), and says it should come back on shortly.  Then gets surly at me when I pause for a moment to turn the television on.  

Guy 6:  Tried to be helpful.  However, he reads my account info, sees my bill is paid in full (I have automatic withdrawal) and congratulates me on making a payment.  Really?   So he can’t really do anything either.  He resends the signal.  When that did nothing, he transfers me to the internet department.

Guy 7:  Extremely helpful.  The only one of the bunch that didn’t assume I was a moron.  Schedules a service appointment for today (a few hours ago) and assures me there’s notes in place so the order doesn’t just get cancelled with no warning.  Asks me what I’ve been told so far.  I tell him: cable box is broken, there’s a problem with the line into my apartment, and there’s an outage.

Service Tech:  Promptly here.  Takes him a minute to find my cable box outside (the apartment complex is weird I guess), and says "yup, your service was disconnected." 

Yeah, my service was disconnected for no reason.  And not one of those 7 reps suggested that might be a problem.  However, I have a feeling Guy 7 would have known that, as he seemed extremely smart.

So after all that drama, I got to spend some time working on the story.  It’s progressing.  But no interesting and fun snippets out of context for you today.  Everything’s been hunky dory.
 

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