Victoria Schwab is a Flatterer!

So Victoria Schwab (you may have heard of her, she’s Wednesday on the YA Rebels as well as the author of the amazing NEAR WITCH) and I talk on the instant messenger every so often, and its come to my attention that the girl is just…the best flatterer I know.  With her permission, I’ve posted a few of our conversations below.  The really funny bits are in bold.

From sometime in February:

me: *Where I say something jokingly mean that I won’t repeat in this blog post.)
Victoria: GASP HORROR **** YOU HOW???
Why would you say such hurtful things???
me: i dunno.
Victoria: UNTRUE.
UNTRUE.
me: doesn’t matter if its true or not
just matters what people will assume it means
Victoria: (O_O)
I don’t think I can ever forgive you if you do it
😦
😦
😦
me: hahahahaha
Victoria: sniffle
me: your sadness brings me joy
Victoria: You are a cruel thing
me: speaking of sadness, don’t you have weekendy things you’re supposed to be doing?
Victoria: yep
baking
Victoria: I’ll probably f*** up this cake now, because the recipe doesn’t call for TEARS/
me: oh, were you expecting sympathy? All I have is this big bowl of sarcasm
Victoria: the things you bake must be bitter
———————————————————————–
me: but the world IS a beautiful place. It will just be a MORE beautiful place if this works. If it doesn’t work….well, then someone’s going to burn down a rainforest
NO PRESSURE
Victoria: AGHHH
me: i pictured you flailing around and falling out of your chair on that one
just so you know
Victoria: That was an accurate visual.
:\
me: what can i say? I have a gift
Victoria: It’s incredible. Your gift can be used for good or evil, and you actually, rather than picking a side, strive to do BOTH in alternating capacity for your own amusement

See?  Now how could those comments NOT make you feel all warm and fuzzy.  And our commentary isn’t even HALF as awesome as The Near Witch (which you should all be on the lookout for).

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