Truthful Tuesday: Libba Bray and the gay BFF

I’m going to tell you a truth that’s close to my heart today, so pull up a chair, spend a few moments plotting your escape route (hey, the Zombie Apocalypse waits for no man), and listen up.

I was talking with a friend last night, and I casually mentioned something near and dear to my heart.  “Becoming Libba Bray’s new gay BFF is on my bucket list.”  And apparently, this whole concept was so hilarious that I was encouraged (nay, harassed) into writing a blog post about it.

So that’s my truth this Tuesday.  Someday, my goal in life will unquestionably be to not only meet Libba Bray in person, but get her to admit (on camera would be preferable) just how fantastic I truly am. 😉   Once we are friends, we will go on dramatic adventures (like the time at BEA where we try to find a bathroom only to stumble into a Raiders of the Lost Arc fight to the death in a hotel hallway), commiserate our troubles (where we both go around releasing rabid animals in the hopes of starting a zombie apocalypse so that we have a justifiable reason to miss our deadlines), and generally causing shenanigans wherever we go.  Mostly so that we can use the word shenanigans on a regular basis.

I figure that becoming her new BFF is a match made in heaven.   She’ll ask me to read her books before they come out in stores (win!).  I’ll change the outfits that her characters are wearing (no one in their right mind would wear taffeta to Tequileria), we’ll get Starbucks and loudly talk about that one time we almost broke into Random House at 3 in the morning because we’re writing a scene about a character that breaks into a building called Handom Rouse and we needed to write what we knew.  And all of these?  Will happen before lunch.  That’s just how awesome it will be.

Actually, can’t we just get a show on MTV?  Libba Bray’s New BFF?  I will totally audition.  And my confessional scenes will be quip-tastic.

And let’s be honest.  If the stars align next year, I’ll get to attend BEA.  And if Libba ALSO happens to attend, that will be a SIGN.  I’ll simply HAVE to record a Libba-stalking vlog.  But hopefully she won’t whip out the restraining order telling me to keep a minimum distance of 500 feet like SOME people.  (I’m looking at YOU, Karsten Knight!)

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7 thoughts on “Truthful Tuesday: Libba Bray and the gay BFF

  1. Um, I think you forgot the part where you and Libba call me and Laura and we all go on this amazing writer’s retreat at our beach house (because by this time we’re rich and we have a beach house). We all get loads of work done on our incredible books and occasionally blog/vlog about how awesome we are. And then we eat pizza and mint chocolate chip ice cream sandwiches and decide that this writer’s retreat has been so fabulous that we simply must embark on an epic tour together in a pimped out RV. The tour results in a television deal with Bravo (obviously) and we all guest star on Watch What Happens with Andy Cohen on a semi-regular basis.

    The End

  2. “Actually, can’t we just get a show on MTV? Libba Bray’s New BFF? I will totally audition. And my confessional scenes will be quip-tastic.”

    I will totally go against you in this on-air competition. Just saying.

    In all seriousness, dreams can come true. I once dreamed of getting Scott Tracey AND Courtney Summers to follow me back on Twitter. :p

  3. Scott, you got the form for GBFF, right? You can pick it up at the Ministry of Gay Best Friends, which is right between the Office of Awesome and an ice cream stand. I really like your idea of starting a zombie apocalypse with rabid animals to escape our impending deadlines. Like the one I’m avoiding right now. Now, the resulting zombie population would read, right? Because otherwise, we’ve put ourselves in a pickle. Let me know when that reality show’s ready. I’ll want to make sure I floss. Rock on. :)Lib

    • I figure we can strain the rabid animal blood through a copy of Catcher in the Rye. That way some of the zombies will be insane with rage, while the others are all caught up in Holden Caulfield’s ennui, and therefore maintain enough sense of self that they continue to read.

  4. My favorite part about this post is that when you search “Karsten Knight Zombie Apocalypse” this post comes up.

    Based solely on this, I have now had the court reduce your restraining order distance to 250 feet, so that you are within yelling range but still outside of rock-throwing range.

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