Moving into a new place is always interesting. There’s the inevitable nerves about how you’re going to deal with your new roommates, how bathroom time is going to be divided, who cooks…etc.
Now, I already lived with Leah for several years, so that wasn’t anything new. But now there was ANOTHER roommate, which was worrisome. The thing that I’ve realized, though, is that the conversations are…not exactly normal fair. They might even traumatize you.
Like Sunday’s conversation, where Heather decreed that the only reason she’d kill the cat over yours truly is because the cat weighs a lot less.
I’d give you the context of that statement, but honestly it’s not going to help. And it’ll probably just worry you enough that you’ll start calling around to Ohio police departments to give them the heads up.
Anyway, there’s a hashtag we started. #actualhouseconversations. Here are a few of the amusing things said lately:
“Why are you not speaking, and you’d better not be touching that eyeball!!!” #actualhouseconversations
“Slut-stained train wrecks read too!” #actualhouseconversations
“You need to stop inhaling around all my things!” #actualhouseconversations